grip

15 May 2006 at 10:39 pm ()

I have an unfair grip on you, haven’t i. I was a most dear companion and intimate of your daughter. Through her toughest times, no less. Through her final days. Through the fatal debacle that she faced. And she had an unfair grip on me…for all the same reasons. No way could I have abandoned her in that situation, no matter how strenuous and aggrieved the situation got. My determination was only doubled by her resolve that I let her go. I would let her go – would have to when the time came… I came to terms with that – but I would not, could not abandon her in her toughest time, her final days. I wish she never asked me or insisted on it. Yes, she had an unfair advantage on me. I could not in good conscious let her go and live with myself. So we drudged through the unfairness, through the uneasiness, through the rough waters, and just before all-would-be-alright, she parted, and all was not alright. Nothing was alright. Nor would be.

So you see, I realize I have an unfair advantage on you. And pray to god, I do not misuse, mishandle, or otherwise mis-cue it.

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